What do you think of these lyrics - 13yr old?

i need help with writing some lyrics cause my friends are making a band and i wanna be in it with them lol but they say my lyrics are crap so what do you think and can you help me finish them...btw if you seen this before its cause i posted a question like this a couple of months ago but didn't really get any helpful answers:).



here they are



REMEMBER: THERE NOT ALL ONE SONG..there just random little bits!!!!

cause everyone on the last question thought they were



1. I should have known

But I guess I always knew the ship was sinking

Suppose I just got to tired of thinking

How to solve the endless puzzle that is us

Trying to navigate the twisted maze of love



2. Because last night in my dreams

You told me everything鈥檚 not as it seems

And you took me by the hand

And lead me to an enchanted land



3. You drew a line

I rubbed it out

Eliminating fear and doubt

You took a step

It took one too

And now i鈥檓 standing here with you



4. Empty bottles of broken dreams - just sounds mad as a song name



oh yeah, and before anyone says anyone can steal them, i don't care lol



yeah so i just want some help cause my friend thats in it, well this is some of her writing and the other friend reckons its real good...



Its to late, whats done has been done,

don鈥檛 try to talk to me now

We know what you have done and I just cant get over it knowing what you鈥檝e done,

cause you just brang my whole life down and no matter what I do

I just cant bring myself to get over you. - she won't mind me posting them



and don't say stop careing blah blah..its all just fun, and if your going to be mean make sure its constructive.



Thanks a bunch, sorry for it being so longWhat do you think of these lyrics - 13yr old?
Your lyrics are probably too sophisticaed for highschool.

You need something simple %26amp; super-ficial to start off with; %26amp; add it to a good beat. Then use your lyrics; they're amazing BTW. I hope you write poetry.



Tell your boys; we get crunk, get crazy.

Tell your girls; we get drunk, get hazy.

Where the party at? Chillin' in my fendora hat.

Lookin' like Lindsay, party like Paris.

We're gettin' so twisted now.



Chattin' on myspace 'til 1 in the mornin'

While my boys are sidekickin' lookin' up porn an'

The girls lipglossn' make sure it's poppin'

Where the party at? Hittin' up scene kids.

Lookin' like Hilary, flossin' like Kimora.

We're gettin' so freaky now.



I got my band tee on, I got my skinny jeans on %26amp; I'm ready to go.

Lets hit up the show.

I got my air force ones %26amp; my bling is blingin' %26amp; I'm ready to go.

We hit up the show.

'Cause I'm pro-fesh-onil, look at how I roll.

Something catchy %26amp; fun. Then use your lyrics.

I love your lyrics BTW. It doesn't have to be hip-hop style, you can do rock with hip-hop lyrics; relate it to kids your age.What do you think of these lyrics - 13yr old?
I like the third one. The first one is okay but could use rewording. The song title is good too. Try writing just poems, instead of songs. Don't think of them as lyrics just yet. That might be easier... unless you already have a tune in mind. I hope taht helps.What do you think of these lyrics - 13yr old?
that's what he said
its' nice. from a 13 yrs old :)

btw, i'm 13 too :p

and i already have one song but still working for the tune and melody

keep it up.



answer mine?http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>

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