Are these good lyrics for a song?

Basically it's about "loving" somebody, but then they just do something that really hurts you and you just can't forgive them. At the same time you want them, but you know after what they've done, there's no way you still feel the same way you did before. Tell me what you reckon. xx Rate out of 10 please.



Verse 1:



I've been kneeling and crying in the pouring rain,

Please God won't you help me once again?

Smashing my guitar on an open road,

Scared, so frightened - I'm so alone.



It was down by the river where my heart belonged,

That was what I believed as I was singing my songs,

Just a little kiss - maybe a little smile,

That's all I need to make it feel worthwhile.



Chorus 1:



But what if I don't want your painted pictures?

What if I can see it's going wrong?

There'll be no-one here left to fight it,

And I don't want it - I don't want it.

There'll be no-one here, that's gonna save me,

From the things that came, but slipped away,

I had it all and threw it all away.

See I don't want it,

I don't want you now.



Verse 2:



Sitting here I'm just a boy with the blues,

This life is a game and I've got nothing to lose,

Time's been wasted thinking, wondering why.

I've gotta let this go I've gotta let it die.



And now my mind's just telling me "go to bed",

But see I can't stop thinking of all the things he said,

You need no money when you're on the line,

I need you when I see you - I see you all the time.



Chorus 2:





But what if I don't want your painted pictures?

What if I can see it's going wrong?

There'll be no-one here left to fight it,

And I don't want it - I don't want it.

There'll be no-one here, that's gonna save me,

From the things that came, but slipped away,

I had it all and threw it all away.

See I don't want it,

I don't want you now.Are these good lyrics for a song?
Being a songwriter myself, I'd give it a 7. It's pretty good and has a lot of potential, but some of the rhymes sound a little cheesy. It doesn't have to rhyme 100%. Sometimes its cool if its a half rhyme (like kiss and wish, time and mine). Good luck, hope it helps.Are these good lyrics for a song?
great!





Rate-11 out of 10 (your welcome)Are these good lyrics for a song?
I really like it, although it does need some work. I'd give it a 7. Keep tweaking it, it has great potential!

There are some lines that are a little awkward and seem forced, so I'd focus on those and change them to make the song flow more. They're fine for just getting theb ase of the song down- which you have. Now you can go back and chaneg things up to make it better. A line that seems awkward to me is:

And now my mind's just telling me "go to bed"

I'd change that and try to find different words to convey the same meaning.

Very good start though!!
YES! I love the lyrics! 9.8 of 10! I don't know how the tune would go, but it sounds promising! What's the title?