(Fog-horns, even bow-bells) - poem, will you c/c if you may?

[Fog-horns, even bow-bells]



Nautilus on a cargo vessel, to avail,

devoid of an older route, and drift

his beats of abreacted pulse, to trail,

his home-land on cloudy forms, to lift.



Long locked in dreams, assemblage,

soul sails forward, spilled life's wine,

in Nordic Northern seas, God Brage,

unworldly lyrics to compose, in brine.



I reckon he befits an Angel, alone,

he plays a harmonica in broken notes,

a song for loners or friends, gone,

mistral petals him along, as boat floats.



I reckon he remembers her, a Naiad,

the sun crowns his head, far setting,

a dalliance, a harbor song, her bard,

depicting of his solitude's odd wedding.



In dark she comes, from away shore,

along windy fog-horns eerie call, in air,

she sails gliding, comely to invite afore,

Nautilus and all drifting souls, in despair.



She comes as bow-bells ring, and sings:

'Enfold me in your lone heart, and I,

shall lift your soul, with halcyon wings,

to fly in incipient stills, to imbue of nigh.'



She sings along, as drifts of mist repeat:

'Enfold me in your lone heart, and I,

shall lift your soul, with halcyon wings,

to fly in incipient stills, to imbue of nigh.'

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Copyright ? - G. V.- 11.29.2011 / 28985177(Fog-horns, even bow-bells) - poem, will you c/c if you may?
Seems to me Alpha, if I my make so bold (seriously) that you are paring and refining your work to a stronger and more gripping direction each time..



More readable and therefore more memorable,more thought-inspiring.



Am delighted...I hate to see a first-rate mind weighed by bilge word-embroidery ...and no,

I do not need a B.A.,

I am 100% serious @ poetry/ Lit critique..

this is close to a Classic...keep paring down ... 8 and 1/2 out of 10 on the scale of your potential. :)(Fog-horns, even bow-bells) - poem, will you c/c if you may?
Beautiful sea poem! There's so much to see

Far away, out in the wide open blue sea!

All the beautiful sea unfolds under my eyes

While there is no more tears to shed...(Fog-horns, even bow-bells) - poem, will you c/c if you may?
Interesting poem! :))
I like this version, it is more with less.

Peace